Some Montessori Thoughts

Somehow we managed to survive the week without Andy, but it was a near thing.  A toddler who only gets five hours of sleep can be really vicious.  Wednesday turned up an amazing number of casualties: Pop bit Farmerboy at least four times, leaving black and blue bite marks all over his arms.  He even bit Farmerboy while Farmerboy was sitting on the couch with a nosebleed, courtesy of his sister, who "accidentally" hit him in the nose while they were goofing off in the laundry room.  I think Wednesday goes down in the annals as a "bad day" for the poor kid.  And Pip and I didn't fare much better.  Pop has started tackling his brother, knocking him over (onto the wood floor, I might add) and then biting him while he's down. 

The thoughts that go through my mind at a time like this? Oh, my.  Boys.

So while my wonderful, sensitive husband suggested a Hannibal Lecter mask, and Gareth and I were trying to tag-team referee the little ones (resorting most often to confining Pop in his high chair for time-outs until we could get him to take a nap), I was also noticing a few things.  I was noticing how this biting behavior came out most often when Pop was trying to work.

I'm using "work" here in the Montessori sense.  "Work" to a 20 month old looks a lot like what we grown-ups call "play", but you can tell the difference when you watch the concentration involved.  (Plus "work" does not usually involve laser noises or crashing into or throwing objects which should neither be crashed into or thrown.  But I digress.)  Pop has been "working" quite a lot lately.  He works when he takes the Duplos over to the coffee table and concentrates very hard on putting them together.  He's working right now as he attempts to pour water from one tiny medicine cup to another.  (His brother who is putting soap bubbles in his mouth in order to make Pop laugh is not.)  He works when he stands the wooden blocks upright on our child-sized table.  He works when he puts lots of little things in a basket and carries it around.

The other day, prompted by a lot of thinking (I won't glorify it with the word "planning") and a lot of good discussion and excitement on the 4Real Montessori board, I brought out the Pink Tower and the Brown Stair.   I had put both of these away last fall when I packed up most of our Montessori materials because I had no way of keeping them safe from the babies.  I left out some of the math materials because I was using them with Katydid and had a high place on which to store them.  But everything else, including all the not-really-Montessori stuff like knobbed puzzles, went into various tubs and bins and closets because I just couldn't maintain it.  I was also finding it hard to maintain a half-and-half approach with my older kids, where I assigned certain work every day (not just certain subjects) out of texts but expected the kids also to have a little "choice time".  "Choice time" kept getting squeezed tighter and tighter, though, until I had to make more and more assignments, and the Montessori ideal of "freedom within limits" was becoming more or less "limits with a little freedom".

This was not an ideal situation for any of us, but this year did teach me something.  (Every year teaches me something, which is by and large a good thing.)  It taught me that Gareth feels most comfortable with structure and checklists... but doesn't want his entire day planned out for him.   He likes having choices geared to his interests.  Katydid, on the other hand, does not want me to give her a handful of choices based on her interests.  She likes to know what to expect out of the day, too, but she wants to pursue her own interests in her own way.  I am needed to facilitate and support, not dictate.  Workbooks continue to make little sense to her, though.  She needs to use her hands.  And the little boys need something to do.  I know all the arguments for letting kids under the age of 6 simply play, but at my house, the boys seem to feel a lot better --and behave a lot better -- when they've also done some meaningful work.

When I first started thinking again about Montessori, I got completely overwhelmed, mainly because I was thinking about doing everything all at once.  That meant materials for every kid and I would need somewhere to put them wouldn't I and manuals and I should plan and what about those cabinet locks?  Needless to say, this was not a productive way to make a decision.  Once I made myself slow down and think about it for a while, though -- days and weeks, not just hours -- I realized a few things.

• I realized that I needed to break down my "thinking" by child.   Having been blessed with many different personalities in my children, I find myself also having to meet many different learning styles, not to mention a variety of special needs.  Was Montessori right for everyone?  What I eventually decided was that I didn't need to worry so much about Gareth anymore.  I could focus on the little people first, in particular 4 year old Farmerboy, and then eight year old Katydid.  When I thought about their needs, I realized that there was a reason I had been interested in Montessori in the first place, and that I probably needed to put more effort into bringing Montessori principles into our homeschooling.
• I realized I needed a sequence for my own work.  I needed first to get a handle on our time, then to go through the curriculum I already had, then to figure out what I needed, then to make sure I had a place to put it, then to order or make anything I needed, then put the environment together.  (This sequence is probably a no-brainer to my sequentially minded readers, but I really have to make myself sit down and think this stuff through.  Otherwise I'm off in four or five directions at once, and everything only gets halfway done.
• I realized that I'd have to give myself more time than other people.  Partly this is because of my very active twins; partly it's because I'm always going in fifteen directions at once and I get distracted a lot.
• I realized that I could introduce a few materials at a time, which would not overwhelm me.  Then I could slowly build the environment that way.

Which leads me back to the Pink Tower and the Brown Stair.  I had an empty cabinet with no lock on it, so I decided I would try an experiment.  The babies were always trying to escape with these materials when I had them "off limits" (theoretically) in my closet.  They love blocks right now, so I thought, well, maybe they're ready.

And it turns out, they are ready, and they love these pink and brown blocks, too.  They love carrying them and picking them up and putting them down because they're "hebby".  (That's "heavy", if you're translating.)  They love them because you can make tall towers with them.  They love them because the towers don't always work out and sometimes they come tottering down; they love the challenge of trying to figure out which blocks balance on the others.  These materials engage their muscles and their minds... and apparently Pop loves them so much that he'll bite if he's interrupted when he's feeling badly.

Of course, we can't let that continue, and a lot of the "work" that will be done involves teaching manners and turn-taking and cooperation... and making reparations.  (Can you say "socialization" anyone?)  But overall, I am pleased with my experiment, because it lets me know I'm on the right track.  There is something to this Montessori stuff, and it's worth my effort to give it a shot.

Comments

[Shawna]

Angel, could you just come over and spend the afternoon with me??? We would have SO much to talk about!

Thank you for this post. It really helps me in my thinking this summer about creating (or re-creating) our environment. Unless you experience this journey of homeschooling with so many ages and abilities, one cannot ever appreciate the amount of thought required to do it well!

I too just purchased the Pink Tower, and what do you know, Thing 1 and Thing 2 love it. I do put it away for a few days and then take it out again, to "keep it new". I am loving this stage, Thing 1 is nearly 2 and Thing 2 will be right behind her come September. There are new possibilities on the horizon..possibilities that don't involve cupboard locks! This summer is proving to be an essential time for me, to catch my breath and think and observe. I don't think the learning curve ever stops for the homeschooling mom.

[Jennifer]

I love to read all of your thoughts on this - especially the way you are approaching it with all the different ages. I am so interested in Montessori, but also so overwhelmed. In the end, I don't think it's for me right now.

[Meredith]

WEll said, and I really think you are on the right track with your approach for each individual child. Thanks for sharing! Blessings!