Three Plus Two

So... what do you want to do tonight, Brain?

Tonight the twins revealed their scheme for world domination.

While putting on their pajamas...

Pop: When we grow up, we're going to be good guy Roman legionaries.

Pip: we're going to have a good guy Roman legionary empire.

Pop (flashing You Wouldn't Want to Be a Roman Legionary in my face): We need to read this book tonight!

Pip: And we'll need to buy weapons, shields, battering rams...

Pop: And archers!

Pip: Chipmunk can be an archer. And ships and spears... and lots of clothes... Roman legionaries wear clothes under their armor.

Pop: We need to read half of this book tonight!

Pip: And boats... lots of boats...

Me to Pip: How are you going to pay for all this stuff?

Pip (shrugging): Save up.

Me: Sounds like you'll have to pick up a lot of Legos.

Christmas Carols You've Never Heard

Last night on the way home from Mass, the boys asked Katydid to sing Christmas carols.  Some of their requests?

• "Broken Bells"... you know, "Dashing through the snow/in a horseless broken sleigh..."
• Deck the Halls... with balls of salami
• Deck the Halls... with mostaccioli

I guess "Jingle Bells/Batman smells..." is passe.

You Know You're a Homeschooler...

... when you encounter your 6 year old in the kitchen and he's monologuing: "And then I'll need to order my armies into conquer, so my empire can get bigger..." and rather naively, you ask if he's the bad guy, and he says, "Well, there aren't really any bad guys and good guys in this.  It's like the Trojan War.  Except with lasers."

And then he runs off to leave you pondering what that really means for all the noise you hear in the back room.

The power of Mary...

... according to Farmerboy.

Farmerboy, talking to his older brother and to me: "The devil is scared of Mary."

Gareth: "Right --"

Farmerboy: "Because she says the Holy Name of Jesus all the time.  'Jesus, come here!' 'Jesus, where are you?' 'Jesus, clean up your room!'"

Gareth: "Yeah, well, Jesus probably didn't have to be *told* to clean up *His* room."

Only in our house...

Pip and Pop came through the kitchen today, Pop riding on the fire truck ride-on and Pip walking behind him.  Both boys were singing: "Moo,moo, moo, moo..."

"What are you doing?" I asked them.

"Pwayin' dewivry cows."

I stopped.  "Delivery cows???"

"Yep."  Pip grinned and they both went on their way. "Moo,moo, moo, moo..."

When Andy got home, I said to them, "Tell Daddy what you're playing, boys."

"Dewivry cows!" said Pip.

"Attack cows," said Pop.

"Did he just say what I think he said?" said Andy.  "They're playing Attack Delivery Cows?"

The Wonder of Technology

Katydid is going to have an MRI on Thursday, to try and determine the cause of her persistent headaches.  Andy had an MRI a few years ago and was telling her what it was like.

"So," she asked, "will I be able to see what I'm thinking?"

He may be a little confused...

Farmerboy: I wouldn't want to go to hell.
Me: I wouldn't either!
Farmerboy: 'Cuz there's Satan.
Me: Hell's not a very nice place.  I'd rather go to heaven.
Farmerboy: Me, too.  That's why we gotta go to college.

Do you remember preschool?

This evening Andy asked Gareth if he remembered the time he spent in preschool.

"I thought everybody's breath smelled really bad," Gareth replied.  "That's about it."

Poor... girl?

Yesterday we were having one of our discussions about how it's okay for each kid in our family to like different things and to not want to play what somebody else wants to play all the time.  This came up -- again -- because Katydid and Farmerboy wanted to play dogs in the sprinkler, and Gareth -- who, ironically, used to be the biggest dog fan in the world -- has grown up and now only wants to play alien war games.

Katydid attempted to explain herself.

"I like playing with Farmerboy," she said, "because he's the closest thing I have to a sister."

I wasn't quite sure how to react to that.

Farmerboyisms

Because I need to start writing these things down.

Farmerboy: My tummy hurts.
Me: Well, it's probably because you ate too much chocolate, and now you have a tummy ache.
Farmerboy, running off to Daddy: Daddy, I ate too much chocolate, and now I have a tummy cake!

Katydid: Farmerboy, at your next doctor's checkup you're going to get a shot.  But it won't hurt much.
Farmerboy: I wish we had a remote to turn Katydid off.

Andy <singing>: I'm a little teapot... I don't really want to be a little teapot anymore.
Me: Would you rather be a Mr. Coffee?
Andy: Well, I'm often described as perky.
Farmerboy: I'm often described as perfect.